Navigating Eating Disorder Recovery on Valentine’s Day
The season of love is finally upon us! While many of us look forward to the food-filled festivities that Valentine’s Day has to offer, this sentimental holiday can be particularly intimidating for individuals recovering from an eating disorder. Being mindful of potential triggers and preparing yourself with healthy coping mechanisms can set you up for a positive, enjoyable Valentine’s Day experience.
by: Amanda Nussbaum
The anticipation of socializing, dressing up, and dining out during the holidays can be challenging for those in eating disorder recovery. Although the holidays at the end of the year appear to be the most food-focused and problematic for people in recovery, Valentine’s Day is another holiday that also can prove to be stressful. Even though the holiday celebrates love in general, the day may be hard for people who are single, divorced, grieving, or have a poor relationship with themselves.
The traditional Valentine’s Day typically involves flowers, chocolates, presents, and going out for dinner. The day can be difficult though for people in recovery if they see others receiving gifts or physical affection. That stress could result in eating disorder thoughts.
Individuals with eating disorders tend to have poor self-esteem and believe they will not be noticed unless they look a certain way. Similarly, an eating disorder can sometimes be triggered in response to something said or done by a loved one. As a result, the food and gift portion of Valentine’s Day, together with the romance and intimacy aspects of the day, can be anxiety-provoking as well.
Valentine’s Day can be stressful for various reasons. Below are a few tips to help to navigate the day of love while in eating disorder recovery:
Ask for Support: Holidays can be hard, but you do not need to go through them alone. Reaching out for additional support from a therapist, family member, friend, or significant other can help make the day a little easier.
Discuss Gifts Beforehand: If exchanging presents, consider setting ground rules about gifts ahead of time, so nobody is uncomfortable. Although people should stay away from giving food or clothes, appropriate gift ideas could include self-care items, accessories, or hobby-based gifts. People tend to value the thought that goes into a present rather than its monetary value, so handmade gifts like a drawing or letter may also be appreciated.
Do What Makes You Comfortable: Society often portrays Valentine’s Day as a holiday that has to be spent doing something romantic, but this is not true. You should do something you enjoy and will benefit your recovery. Doing something special with someone, having a small get-together with friends, or staying home are all options.
Make a Gratitude List: Many people who struggle with eating disorders are very self-critical. Try to write down the qualities and attributes that make you unique, along with positive affirmations. Creating these lists not only help with self-comparison, but can help someone in recovery with self-love.
Make a Schedule: If Valentine’s Day is triggering for you, have a schedule or distractions to stay busy. This may consist of school or work, but it may also involve calling a friend, starting a new TV series, having an at-home spa day, doing a craft, creating a vision board, or meditating.
Take a Social Media Break: There is no way to avoid the social media posts and photos on Valentine’s Day of couples together, but it is important to remember that even the relationships shown in the pictures may not really be as wonderful as they appear online. If it will help your recovery, consider staying offline for the day, so you can avoid seeing how others are spending the day.
Practice Self-Compassion: No matter how you are spending Valentine’s Day, do something nice for yourself. You could buy yourself flowers, read a book, do a facemask, watch a movie, or anything else that can help make the day a little easier to manage. It is important to give yourself the same love, kindness, and respect you give to others.
Although there is an emphasis on romance and love on Valentine’s Day, it is important to remember that love can be expressed in many ways that do not involve food. Showing love and gratitude through small gestures can be directed toward family, friends, teachers, co-workers, pets, and yourself. There is no wrong way to celebrate Valentine’s Day. The day may bring up negative feelings, but those emotions should be validated. Whether you are treating Valentine’s Day like a regular or special day, having a plan can help you make it through the day without interfering with your recovery.
At BALANCE eating disorder treatment center, we treat the spectrum of eating disorders, including Anorexia, Bulimia, Binge Eating Disorder, compulsive overeating, and other disordered eating behaviors and body image issues. Click the button below to learn more about our programs and services.
This post was written by BALANCE Blog Intern, Amanda Nussbaum.
Amanda is a recent graduate of Ramapo College, where she majored in Business Administration with a concentration in Marketing. She enjoys being creative, writing, and editing videos, and is passionate about health, wellness, and lifestyle. Throughout college, Amanda volunteered with the Girls on the Run organization, which helps young girls develop a positive self-esteem. She also mentored a young girl through Ramapo College’s chapter of Big Brother, Big Sister. Amanda’s involvement in these organizations helped her realize that she wants to work for a company that has an impact on others, while still being creative with marketing. In the future, Amanda hopes to work in the marketing or communications department of an organization that focuses on teenagers and young adults, and their health and self-confidence. She enjoys contributing to the BALANCE blog!