Navigating Motherhood In Eating Disorder Recovery
Overcoming disordered eating and exercise behaviors is not a linear process. Recovery is affected by so many aspects of life in general, and motherhood is a significant change that can impact our relationship with our mind, body, and food. Being aware of our well-being and continuously proactive in our recovery is essential to ensure harmful patterns and habits do not reemerge.
By: Kimberly Singleton
As cliche as it sounds, the phrase “recovery is a journey, not a destination” is incredibly accurate. As with any other mental health obstacle, eating disorder recovery is not linear, and it is certainly not black and white. There is no way around it; we must eat to survive and our relationship with food affects so many other aspects of our lives.
However, whether we’re in recovery or currently trying to break free from an eating disorder, being proactive in our healing process is crucial. Even if we’ve never been clinically diagnosed, do not meet all the criteria of a specific disorder, or fall somewhere on the disordered eating spectrum, our connection with food and movement can be a slippery slope.
Eating disorders are sneaky. They remain dormant, waiting until we are vulnerable to resurface, and can escalate quickly; typically without even realizing it. There is also a dark side to the wellness industry. It typically attempts to disguise itself as being “healthy” when in reality, it instills fear and distrust in ourselves while simultaneously keeping diet culture and weight loss or maintenance at its core.
“It’s not a diet; it’s a lifestyle” is a phrase often used in wellness culture to convince us that we’re simply taking charge of our health, not participating in harmful activities. However, these “lifestyle choices” can lead to distorted eating tendencies, questionable exercise habits, and overall, negatively affect our mental health and well-being.
Furthermore, motherhood adds another dimension to this already complicated matter. While being a parent is an incredible gift, it’s also stressful, unpredictable, demanding, and exhausting; all factors can exacerbate pre-existing mental health issues. Wellness culture also inundates society with the false and unrealistic notion that we must look a certain way to achieve happiness, success, or worthiness.
There is a lack of support and resources for mothers in eating disorder recovery, whether during pregnancy, becoming an empty nester, or in any stage of raising and feeding our children. Below are ways to help navigate motherhood after an eating disorder or when overcoming distorted behaviors. This list is by no means exhaustive, but may serve as a stepping stone and be helpful to refer to periodically.
Unfollow Harmful Social Media Accounts
Unfollow social media accounts that negatively impact self-esteem, provoke comparison (intentional weight loss posts, “what I ate in a day” videos, before/after photos, etc.), and portray a picture-perfect life that makes our role as caregivers feel inferior. Instead, re-curate social feeds with body and lifestyle diversity; learning from different people challenges us and encourages self-growth. In addition, follow anti-diet professionals, recovery accounts, and people and companies advocating against diet culture. Lastly, be mindful of “healthy living” accounts. While they may seem harmful, they often assign a moral value to food and come off as elitist. Seeing this can trigger people in eating disorder recovery, chronic dieters, or anyone in a vulnerable state. Fitspo, fashion, and beauty accounts also typically focus on external characteristics that can hinder our internal work and promote an unrealistic standard of physical appearance.
Make Time For Yourself
Continue to expand your knowledge and path of self-discovery via books, podcasts, webinars, and hobbies. Dedicating time to things we enjoy helps keep us grounded and working towards our goals, increases self-confidence, and builds creativity. Do not be afraid to get curious and revisit former interests that may have been lost through the eating disorder, motherhood, or simply life changes in general.
Be Honest
Be honest with your partner, family, friends, and most importantly, yourself. Secrets keep us sick and are parasitic to our health, and honesty is essential in a lasting recovery. Maintaining open communication, silencing or disengaging in diet talk, and acknowledging out loud when we are struggling will help keep us moving forward.
Take Proactive Measures
A concern during motherhood may be questioning our ability to feed our children while encouraging a healthy relationship with food and connection with our mind and body. There are proactive measures we can take to instill positive behaviors and attitudes in children. For example, exemplify that food has no moral value, teach healthy coping skills and open communication, raise awareness about diet culture and weight stigma, and challenge it. We are all born intuitive eaters, and one of the gifts of motherhood is helping our children continue to make food choices based on their internal cues.
Find Community
While it is wonderful to be encouraged by family and friends, having support from people that can relate may help us feel less alone. Technology makes social media and virtual groups accessible, but we must ensure these resources are safe and appropriately run. In-person meetings may also be locally available for those looking for a more personal setting. In addition, giving back to the community via advocacy work, fundraisers, and charity events may be a rewarding experience to raise awareness and connect with and help others.
Motherhood is often seen through a much different lens when recovering from an eating disorder or the wrath of diet culture; therefore, staying aware of our holistic health and being dedicated to our journey is imperative. Instead of living with shame, we can view recovery and healing our relationship with food and body as a gift not only to ourselves but to our children as well.
At BALANCE eating disorder treatment center™, our compassionate, highly skilled team of clinicians is trained in diagnosing and treating the spectrum of eating disorders, including anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, compulsive overeating, and other disordered eating and body image issues. In addition to our full-time Day Treatment Program and Weeknight Intensive Outpatient Program, we offer high-quality programming, nutrition counseling with a licensed dietitian, meal support, and a variety of other groups and resources to assist those seeking help for food concerns. Click the button below to learn more about our programs and services.
Our admissions team would be happy to answer any questions you may have about our programs and services. Book a free consultation call with our admissions team below, or read more about our philosophy here.
This post was written by BALANCE Blog Contributor, Kimberly Singleton.
Kim Singleton is a holistic living enthusiast, military spouse, mommy, and infertility and recovery advocate. After living in the depths of alcohol use disorder and eating disorders for several years, she became passionate about mental health awareness, advocacy, and the mind-body connection during her own healing journey. She shares her thoughts on reducing her family's toxic load, embracing sobriety, exposing the harmful effects of diet culture, and intentional living on her blog and social media channels. Kim has a B.A from the University of Texas and will be pursuing a Master’s in Public Health in the Spring of 2022. She intends to work in the health behavior field to help redesign public health policies regarding the prevention and treatment of substance abuse and eating disorders while also dismantling the negative stigma associated with mental health.