Navigating Restaurant Dining in Eating Disorder Recovery
“Let’s go out to eat.” These words often elicit a slew of excuses and triggering thoughts in individuals with eating disorders. For many of us, eating at a restaurant or café is a pleasurable, leisurely activity, but for those with an eating disorder, just the thought of dining out can be anxiety-provoking. Eating out is an unavoidable part of normal life and restaurant exposures are an important part of recovery.
by: Amanda Nussbaum
Dining with others is a popular and common way to connect with friends and loved ones. Restaurants are also popular venues for celebrations, watching sports, holding meetings, socializing, or simply when someone doesn’t feel like cooking. Prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, it was common for people to go to restaurants with relatives, friends, or work colleagues. Although dining out may be enjoyable to some, eating out can be intimidating for those in eating disorder recovery.
When struggling with an eating disorder, people may come up with excuses for not attending a social event involving food. In order to avoid the fears and worries that may be prompted by eating with others, they may claim to not feel well, have other plans, or have eaten already. Restaurants are also typically crowded, which can make eating and ordering even more nerve-wracking. Reading long menus, worrying about portion sizes, or fearing that there will not be “safe” foods available are other reasons this experience may be challenging.
Calorie counting is a common issue among individuals with eating disorders. In 2014, the United States Food and Drug Administration began requiring restaurant chains with 20 or more locations to display calorie information on their menus for customers. For those struggling with anorexia, knowing the number of calories in a meal can lead to guilt or food restriction. In contrast, someone with bulimia or binge eating disorder may overeat or engage in compensatory behaviors (induce vomiting, laxative abuse, overexercise, etc). Although disclosing calories information was intended to help people make more “informed” food choices, seeing calorie counts on a menu is another reason why those in recovery may feel overwhelmed.
Although eating in a social setting may be stressful for individuals with eating disorders, below are a few tips to navigate restaurant dining in recovery:
Dine With Your Supportive System: Social functions, especially those involving food, can feel frightening, so it is important to be surrounded by encouraging and caring people who understand that dining out may not be easy. Supportive family and friends can help with ordering, confronting fear foods, and distracting you while you eat. You may also want to have someone available to call or text for support while at a restaurant.
Plan Ahead: It can be beneficial to look at the menu beforehand so you can order before arriving and reduce some of the stress and uncertainty at the restaurant. Other ways to anticipate dining out may include discussing triggers and coping skills with a therapist or support person. You can also try to determine who you will sit with who can support you.
Do Not Look at the Menu: If the calories on the menu are triggering or the number of choices is too lengthy, try to ignore the menu. Some ways to do this are by physically covering up numbers or certain sections of the menu with a napkin. Consider asking someone else to select your meal or give them a couple of choices of what you would like rather than having to read the whole menu yourself.
Stick to Certain Conversation Topics: Eating in public can be challenging, so keeping the conversations light and not about the meal can also be helpful. Instead of talking about food, talk about a TV show, music, hobbies, or even the weather. It can be triggering if the table is discussing topics like calories, the amount of what someone ate, portion sizes, or whether certain ingredients are considered healthy or not.
Be Kind to Yourself: Restaurants may feel more comfortable as you eat out more in your recovery, but try not to be hard on yourself if it feels difficult or tiring. You may experience nervousness with there being “unknowns” about ingredients or how the food was made. Be gentle with yourself and remember this is a big step.
Eating in public is not an easy thing, but making the decision to go out to eat at a restaurant is an accomplishment. Although there may be challenges during the meal, those in recovery may begin to feel more comfortable as time goes on. Dining out may be overwhelming, but having a plan, coping mechanisms, and a support system can help those in recovery feel more at ease when eating at a restaurant.
At BALANCE eating disorder treatment center, we treat the spectrum of eating disorders, including anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, compulsive overeating, and other disordered eating behaviors and body image issues. BALANCE offers nutrition counseling with a licensed dietitian and meal support, which provide “real life” meal experiences and restaurant exposures. Click the button below to learn more about our programs and services.
This post was written by BALANCE Blog Intern, Amanda Nussbaum.
Amanda is a recent graduate of Ramapo College, where she majored in Business Administration with a concentration in Marketing. She enjoys being creative, writing, and editing videos, and is passionate about health, wellness, and lifestyle. Throughout college, Amanda volunteered with the Girls on the Run organization, which helps young girls develop a positive self-esteem. She also mentored a young girl through Ramapo College’s chapter of Big Brother, Big Sister. Amanda’s involvement in these organizations helped her realize that she wants to work for a company that has an impact on others, while still being creative with marketing. In the future, Amanda hopes to work in the marketing or communications department of an organization that focuses on teenagers and young adults, and their health and self-confidence. She enjoys contributing to the BALANCE blog!