Combating Internalized Fatphobia
Considering the diet culture messaging we have all been marinating in since birth, it makes sense that we have discriminatory beliefs about fatness we need to reflect on- even with the best intentions. Deconstructing your inner anti-fat monologue is hard work, and it can be intimidating when you don’t know where to start.
By: Samreen Khan
But mental shifts don’t have to be dramatic from the get-go – consciously implementing minor alterations in your train of thought can go a long way when you’re learning to reverse your fatphobic biases.
Although in most cases, it is not the sole driving factor, distress surrounding one’s appearance often plays a significant role in the deterioration of individuals with eating disorders. Many people with eating disorders express a fear of gaining more weight, and many people struggle to view their bodies as worthy regardless of size or shape. You may have heard these thoughts and feelings referred to as “internalized fatphobia” – this term has become increasingly pervasive over the years, but calling all anti-fat thoughts internalized fatphobia can be inaccurate.
First, let’s clarify the meaning of this term; any kind of oppression can only be internalized by the oppressed. The term internalized fatphobia, therefore, can only be applied to fat individuals. For anyone else, it’s just fatphobia – even if these thoughts are not expressed out loud, many of us can relate to having an internal monologue of fatphobia or anti-fatness at some point in our lives. Unfortunately, living in a highly fatphobic society that continuously glorifies thinness and demonizes fatness instills these prejudices. As a result, it can be difficult (but certainly not impossible!) to break free from these ideals and standards.
Trying to accept your body as it changes during recovery can be especially difficult amidst all these thoughts. How do you turn off fatphobic commentary inside your head – commentary that you’ve been feeding and appeasing for so long? It is by no means easy, and it can take a very long time to reach a point where you feel at peace with your body and are ready to accept it as it naturally is. However, it is possible.
A huge first step to take is to stop verbalizing negative thoughts regarding your body. In general, expressing harmful thoughts out loud amplifies them and solidifies their validity in your mind. Sentiments like “I feel fat” or “I look fat” are often used as a shortcut in place of expressing our actual feelings. “Fat” is not a feeling – it is a descriptor of a state of being or a descriptor of natural and necessary flesh on our bodies. When you say you “feel fat,” think about what you mean – do you feel indulgent? Anxious? Full? All these are emotions that we often correlate with fatness, but the difference is that A) they’re feelings, while “fat” is not, and B) it’s possible to cope with or detect causes for these feelings.
Expecting ourselves to turn every negative thought into a positive one is unrealistic and, in many ways, unproductive; you are human, and it’s completely understandable to have negative thoughts about your body and yourself! Masking it with false positivity can do more harm than good, as this method often ignores the root of the issue. Instead, when these negative thoughts surface, try and unpack what biases or preconceived notions perpetuate them and articulate those feelings in a way that allows you to take steps to work through them.
Try redirecting harmful thoughts about your body from a focus on appearance to a focus on function. For example, if you’re feeling particularly insecure about the softness of your stomach, remind yourself of all it does for you! Some people like to take the scientific route: the fat around your abdomen is essential to protecting delicate organs like your stomach and intestines. Or maybe your stomach is soft and provides a comfortable cushion when you’re lying on your belly. For me, I know the fat around my stomach makes it particularly warmer than the rest of my body, and I can place my hands around my waist whenever they get cold (it’s a built-in hand warmer). Remember, your affirmations are meant to help you, and no matter how small of an appreciation it may be, it’s valid if it allows you to gain more respect for your body.
Combatting fatphobic thoughts is no easy task. Some days it will inevitably be more challenging to look at your body with compassion than others. But little by little, step by step, shifting harmful thoughts into more productive ones can become second nature. Be gentle with yourself. As many people with eating disorders know, you can’t hate yourself into loving yourself; wherever you are in your journey, you deserve to treat yourself and your body with kindness.
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This post was written by BALANCE Blog Contributor, Samreen Khan (she/her/he/him).
Samreen is a senior high school student with an ardent drive to de-stigmatize mental illness and eating disorders. Born and raised in the Bay Area, she experienced the harmful effects of “fitspo” culture firsthand for most of her childhood. Throughout her own recovery journey, she became passionate about deconstructing diet culture and raising awareness about eating disorders in her everyday life. Samreen began extending her own ideology of intuitive eating and body neutrality to others by publishing her own writing online when she was fourteen, and has since received several awards for her prose and poetry. She has conducted research on the biological and evolutionary implications of familial mental illness, and is currently taking college-level Sociology and Psychology courses with hopes to delve further into the social and cultural constructs that bolster disordered eating, especially within marginalized communities. She’s grateful for the opportunity to combine two of her strongest passions — writing and mental health — by working with BALANCE!