Navigating Eating Disorder Recovery As a Parent
With Mother’s Day coming up, it is time to extend our support to all the diligent caregivers who have been navigating recovery and parenthood simultaneously. Both parenthood and eating disorder recovery can be highly isolating journeys, and both involve immense amounts of growth and change that can be burdensome to deal with alone.
By: Samreen Khan
Saying that parenthood is difficult is an understatement. Raising a child or children involves new levels of emotional depth and intelligence that you did not experience before having kids. It can become overwhelming to take care of your family constantly, and you may forget to take care of yourself in the process. You may be facing tensions and changes within your relationships as you learn to balance different aspects of your life. And familial relationships are not exempt from this, either – ensuring that your relationship with your child or children remains healthy and fulfilling can be intimidating. And if you are struggling with an eating disorder on top of all this? It is only understandable that you may have difficulty learning to continue building a healthy family while deconstructing the damage your eating disorder has wreaked on your life.
If you are a parent or caregiver in this situation: we see you, and we hear you. Your struggle is valid, and you are not alone. Eating disorders generate feelings of guilt and take advantage of those feelings to amplify disordered thoughts. Because of this, struggling with an eating disorder as a parent can be a vicious cycle; feeling guilty about being an inadequate parent because of the way your eating disorder affects you can manifest into engaging in disordered habits to deal with that guilt and stress.
This is why it is vital to make sure you are placing your health as a top priority and your family’s. You cannot pour from an empty glass. One of the best ways to ensure that your children grow up in a wholesome, nourishing environment is to make sure that you are in a position where you can thrive. By treating yourself with compassion, you set an example for your children, and they will grow up learning the lessons you learn in recovery through your guidance.
While your children are absolutely part of a supportive environment, which is essential in recovery, you should have a separate, less vulnerable support system to whom you can talk to when you feel overwhelmed. Eating disorders thrive in secrecy, and parenthood can unintentionally create this incredibly obstructive barrier between you and your loved ones. Caring for your children takes up a large portion of your life, which can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness that only make the eating disorder’s voice louder.
From a partner or spouse to close friends and coworkers to a therapist, people care about you and are willing to listen to your grievances. If you have the resources to do so, going to therapy as a parent can provide a much-needed outlet to vent about the various aspects of your life when you feel as if no one else can truly relate to your problems. You are not a failure as a parent for feeling overwhelmed; you are simply human, and you deserve to be taken care of even if you primarily view yourself as a caretaker of others.
At BALANCE eating disorder treatment center™, our compassionate, highly skilled team of clinicians is trained in diagnosing and treating the spectrum of eating disorders, including anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, compulsive overeating, and other disordered eating and body image issues. In addition to our full-time Day Treatment Program and Weeknight Intensive Outpatient Program, we offer nutrition counseling with a licensed dietitian, meal support, and various other groups and resources to assist those seeking help for food concerns. Click the button below to learn more about our programs and services.
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This post was written by BALANCE Blog Contributor, Samreen Khan (she/her/he/him).
Samreen is a senior high school student with an ardent drive to de-stigmatize mental illness and eating disorders. Born and raised in the Bay Area, she experienced the harmful effects of “fitspo” culture firsthand for most of her childhood. Throughout her own recovery journey, she became passionate about deconstructing diet culture and raising awareness about eating disorders in her everyday life. Samreen began extending her own ideology of intuitive eating and body neutrality to others by publishing her own writing online when she was fourteen, and has since received several awards for her prose and poetry. She has conducted research on the biological and evolutionary implications of familial mental illness, and is currently taking college-level Sociology and Psychology courses with hopes to delve further into the social and cultural constructs that bolster disordered eating, especially within marginalized communities. She’s grateful for the opportunity to combine two of her strongest passions — writing and mental health — by working with BALANCE!