Supporting a Loved One with an Eating Disorder
Eating disorders are serious mental illnesses that affect more than just the individual in recovery. Friends, family members, partners, and peers play an important role in identifying worrying symptoms and encouraging loved ones with disordered eating behaviors to seek help. Having a strong support system is essential for a successful recovery.
by: Amanda Nussbaum
Recovering from an eating disorder requires treatment with the goal of maintaining a healthy weight and developing a stronger relationship with food, exercise, and body image. Having a treatment team, which is comprised of a therapist, psychiatrist, nutritionist, and dietitian is a necessary part of recovery. It is equally important for individuals with eating disorders to have a support system outside of therapy, which could include trusted friends, family members, teachers, or peers. Those in a support system often recognize changes in their loved ones’ behavior, mood, and eating habits that the individual with the eating disorder may not recognize or even deny. People entrusted in a support system have the responsibility of educating themselves on the eating disorder in question, otherwise, they may not know how to identify problematic behaviors and express their concerns. They also may not understand that eating disorders are not about losing weight, but are the result of a complex combination of risk factors. Because individuals struggling with an eating disorder spend a majority of their time with those in their support system, these are often the people who can encourage their loved one to reach out for help and seek treatment.
There are many ways a support system can aid someone dealing with an eating disorder through conversation, during meals, and in difficult situations. One of the best ways to be there for someone is to learn about their eating disorder, be patient, available, and provide reassurance that you are there to help. However, it is important to understand that the individual struggling with an eating disorder has to have a desire to recover. Choose an appropriate time and place to share and discuss any worrisome observations and concerns. According to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, people should talk openly and honestly about their concerns, while making a conscious effort to listen and learn from each other’s experiences. Voicing one’s worries by using “I” statements is important to avoid sounding accusatory. It is crucial to be firm while trying to avoid using stigmatizing language regarding eating disorders and encouraging the affected person to seek help.
Although having a support system can be beneficial to someone working through their eating disorder, in certain circumstances, words and actions can cause more harm than good. As stated by Help Guide, people should not shame, blame, or criticize anyone for their appearance or weight. These comments, whether positive or negative, can make the individual’s body image worse. As a result, those struggling may tend to believe that their worth is based on their physical attributes rather than their personality and character traits. People should refrain from providing the individual with "easy solutions" or tips, such as telling them to just accept their body, to simply stop engaging in disordered behaviors, or urging them to “just eat”. Statements such as these are not helpful and can make those with an eating disorder feel that their eating disorder is not valid. Trusted individuals in a support system should never say that their loved one does not look sick enough to have an eating disorder, critique foods, talk numbers, refer to foods as “good” or “bad”, make someone feel bad about eating, ask for diet advice, commend their self-control, or discuss food during meals. These can be sensitive and triggering topics for those in recovery.
Eating disorders are complex mental health disorders that not only affect the person struggling, but can also impact their support system. For those suffering from an eating disorder, it can be beneficial to have the support of friends, family, and a treatment team, but that may not be enough. They may benefit from attending support groups to work through their emotions with others facing similar struggles or situations. Support groups may also be appropriate for family and friends so they can be better educated about eating disorders and recovery. They can learn different ways to be supportive and interact with others affected by a loved one’s eating disorder. There are often separate groups for parents, siblings, spouses, or friends. People may find it valuable to be in individual counseling, but families can participate in family therapy as well.
Treating a mental health disorder can be overwhelming for those in recovery. Although family and friends should be encouraging, supportive, and sensitive, they should not pressure or demand that someone seek help. Treatment will not be as effective if they feel pressured or forced into recovery. Rather, the best way to show support is by refraining from making comments about body size, listening without judgment, and simply being present. Those struggling should be reminded of their qualities which make them unique, without mentioning weight or food. It is up to the individual struggling to seek help, but it can make a significant difference to have a group of understanding, empathetic, and compassionate people to help them through the ups and downs of recovery.
At BALANCE we offer a Supporting A Loved One Group to provide support and education for the family members and support persons of our clients so that they can have a deeper understanding of eating disorders and the recovery process. In the group, you will gain new insight on how you can be supportive and helpful for your loved one in eating disorder recovery. Our Supporting A Loved One Group provides an opportunity for parents, spouses, partners, and friends to connect with the loved ones of others struggling with eating disorders, and receive their own support as well as discuss the challenges and successes encountered in the process of their loved one's recovery. Our Admissions Team would be glad to answer any questions you may have regarding our Supporting A Loved One group. Click the button below to contact us!
This post was written by BALANCE Blog Intern, Amanda Nussbaum.
Amanda is a recent graduate of Ramapo College, where she majored in Business Administration with a concentration in Marketing. She enjoys being creative, writing, and editing videos, and is passionate about health, wellness, and lifestyle. Throughout college, Amanda volunteered with the Girls on the Run organization, which helps young girls develop a positive self-esteem. She also mentored a young girl through Ramapo College’s chapter of Big Brother, Big Sister. Amanda’s involvement in these organizations helped her realize that she wants to work for a company that has an impact on others, while still being creative with marketing. In the future, Amanda hopes to work in the marketing or communications department of an organization that focuses on teenagers and young adults, and their health and self-confidence. She enjoys contributing to the BALANCE blog!