Supporting a Loved One With an Eating Disorder During the Holidays
While the holidays are generally a time of year that most people look forward to, those with eating disorders often find this festive season to be particularly difficult for maintaining recovery. Constant exposure to a variety of unfamiliar and fear-inducing foods, along with additional triggers that the holidays may bring, can be incredibly challenging for those in recovery. A loved one recovering from an eating disorder may need extra support from trusted friends and family members to stay on the path to recovery during this overwhelming season.
by: Amanda Nussbaum
The holiday season is a time that brings friends, families, and loved ones together. Many are excited about holiday shopping, wrapping gifts, decorating, and watching holiday movies. Children and adults alike look forward to these holiday-themed activities, but there is a great emphasis on food during the holidays. There are many festive activities that revolve around food, such as drinking hot chocolate, baking holiday cookies, enjoying a festive feast, or making gingerbread houses. As a result, the holiday season may be more stressful and grueling than lively and pleasurable for those who struggle with an eating disorder. It is important to have a support system available during the holidays.
During the holiday season, families may see relatives they do not see often, become involved in uncomfortable conversations, and are frequently in the vicinity of various foods — some of which may be triggering. Supporting someone at a holiday function can make them feel comforted and cared for. Below are some tips to support someone with an eating disorder during the holiday season:
Be Educated: Learning about eating disorders allows a support person to better understand what eating disorders are. It will also help them recognize possible triggers and eating disorder behaviors. When an issue arises, it is best for the support person to talk to their loved one in private about how to best support them when they are struggling. Being educated about eating disorders also provides insight as to why the holidays can cause additional stress.
Plan Ahead: Creating a plan prior to an event can help someone with an eating disorder feel more at ease and reduce additional stress. Different ways to prepare for a holiday gathering include showing up to an event with a support person or group, sitting together during the meal, staying together while socializing, and setting a time to leave. Knowing what food will be served beforehand can also be beneficial. It may be helpful to create a cue or code word to act as a signal if a loved one is feeling overwhelmed or needs to leave early.
Bring a Dish they are Comfortable Eating: Many guests bring side dishes and desserts to holiday celebrations. Support people can bring a dish they know their loved one is comfortable eating. This way, there is something their loved one can eat if the other choices are too overwhelming. Although self-serve meals may seem intimidating, it allows people to eat intuitively and listen to their body.
Help Provide Structure: Although many like to relax during the holidays, people with eating disorders benefit from having structure. Some do not eat until the main meal is served, but those with eating disorders should keep a routine and follow the meal plan provided by their dietitian or eating disorder treatment team.
Plan Non-Food Activities: There is more to celebrate during the holidays than food. Some non-food activities and traditions during the holiday months include having a game night, seeing Christmas lights, telling stories, watching a movie, decorating, or doing other winter-related activities together.
Do Not Focus on Food: A support person and other guests should avoid discussing food, dieting, weight, feeling guilty about eating, calories, and portions. People should not make remarks about feeling the need to exercise after eating. Similarly, comments should not be made about a person’s appearance, even if the statements are meant to be complimentary. The host should also put scales away to prevent guests from weighing themselves during the gathering.
Although the holidays are meant to be festive and happy, these months can be overwhelming for individuals in recovery. The holidays often revolve around food, which can be anxiety-provoking. Having a trustworthy, empathetic, and compassionate support person to validate their feelings can help those struggling feel less lonely. It can go a long way to remind them that they are loved and appreciated for their character, not appearance. With a strong support system, those struggling with an eating disorder can manage difficult emotions and still connect with others during the holidays.
At BALANCE eating disorder treatment center, we offer a Supporting a Loved One Group to provide support and education for family members and support persons of our clients to help them foster a deeper understanding of eating disorders and the recovery process. The group provides an opportunity for parents, spouses, partners, and friends to connect with the loved ones of others struggling with eating disorders, and receive their own support by discussing the challenges and successes encountered in the process of their love one’s recovery. Our Admissions Team would be glad to answer any questions you may have regarding our Supporting a Loved One group. Click the button below to contact us!
This post was written by BALANCE Blog Intern, Amanda Nussbaum.
Amanda is a recent graduate of Ramapo College, where she majored in Business Administration with a concentration in Marketing. She enjoys being creative, writing, and editing videos, and is passionate about health, wellness, and lifestyle. Throughout college, Amanda volunteered with the Girls on the Run organization, which helps young girls develop a positive self-esteem. She also mentored a young girl through Ramapo College’s chapter of Big Brother, Big Sister. Amanda’s involvement in these organizations helped her realize that she wants to work for a company that has an impact on others, while still being creative with marketing. In the future, Amanda hopes to work in the marketing or communications department of an organization that focuses on teenagers and young adults, and their health and self-confidence. She enjoys contributing to the BALANCE blog!