How to Navigate Thanksgiving in Eating Disorder Recovery
Thanksgiving can be one of the most challenging days of the year for individuals in eating disorder recovery. While Thanksgiving is often associated with delicious food and family bonding, those in recovery may be filled with guilt and fear surrounding the holiday festivities. With proper planning and preparation, you can allow yourself to fully experience and enjoy Thanksgiving!
By: Sadie Grant
With Thanksgiving fast approaching, many of us anticipate spending hours in the kitchen preparing a variety of dishes, gathering with family, and consuming excessive amounts of food and (for some) alcohol.
All of these activities can be extremely difficult and anxiety-inducing for an individual with an eating disorder or disordered eating. First of all, family and friends can be a source of emotional stress. Not all family members may be supportive of loved ones with eating disorders. The anticipation of comments about eating habits, assessments of body shape/weight, and other upsetting topics of conversation can make Thanksgiving a dreaded affair. Not to mention the overwhelming focus on food consumption. The diverse foods, potential exposure to fear foods, and overall focus on excessive eating that characterize Thanksgiving can trigger obsessions, anxiety, and shame associated with eating disorders.
Whether you have a full-threshold eating disorder, experience disordered eating, have some anxiety around Thanksgiving and other festive meals, or know someone with similar struggles, having a plan for the holiday season can be tremendously helpful. In the following, we will share two lists of general tips to help those with eating disorders navigate Thanksgiving. The first is a general guide for individuals with any degree of disordered eating, and the second shares tips for supporting a loved one. Please note that these guides are by no means exhaustive, do not speak to the specifics of every type of eating disorder nor every family situation, and should not replace therapy or the guidance from one’s treatment team.
Tips to get yourself through Thanksgiving:
1. Create a support system. Choose a trusted friend or a family member who will be at the event or meal you are attending. Inform them about your eating disorder and potential triggers that you may encounter. Share with them any ways in which they may be able to support you, such as diverting stressful conversations or helping you interact with certain family members. Also, allow this individual to help and encourage you to eat.
2. Be compassionate and gentle with yourself. Allow yourself to eat what you want. Know that indulgence and overeating are a normal part of this holiday, and that it is okay to eat robustly or feel very full. Remember that it can be difficult to know what and how much food to eat, but that does not mean that you are out of control.
3. Come up with a plan. Talk with your therapist or your dietitian to establish a plan for eating and managing anxiety. Establish strategies to deal with upsetting interactions or judgemental family members. Also, stick to your regular meal schedule. Following a plan and a schedule may help you feel more in control and ready to respond to difficult situations should they arise.
4. Remember that all foods are allowed. There are no good or bad foods. All foods can be eaten and enjoyed. Write it down, sing it, shout it. All foods fit.
5. Avoid making or focusing on negative food comments. In a culture that values dieting and thinness, comments such as, “ugh, I ate way too much,” or “tomorrow I need to burn all that off” are all too common. If possible, avoid engaging with or making triggering comments related to food. Thanksgiving is about sharing an abundant meal with loved ones. It’s so okay to feel very full, eat many types of food, and eat more than you usually do.
6. Avoid interacting with social media pages that promote diet, weight loss, or fitness. Unfollow or mute accounts that may promote holiday diet talk or weight loss strategies. Consider following accounts that promote food freedom and healthy body image, such as our anti-diet culture Instagram account, @redefining_wellness.
Tips to support a loved one during Thanksgiving:
1. Recognize that Thanksgiving can be an incredibly difficult time for people with eating disorders and disordered eating. Unless you have experienced an eating disorder, you probably cannot imagine what it is like to confront your deepest fear while feeling watched and judged by friends and family members. Validate your loved one’s struggles, be flexible, and consider relaxing topics of conversation or games to ease anxiety.
2. Be careful of language. You may be used to saying some of the words and phrases that people commonly use on Thanksgiving, such as “binge”, or “I ate way too much”, or “now it’s time to walk that meal off”. When people talk about “bingeing” in this context, they are probably talking about eating a large, delicious Thanksgiving meal. This is not the same thing as a binge-eating episode as classified in the DSM-5 (i.e., eating a very large amount of food in a short period of time, experiencing shame and disgust, experiencing a lack of control). Furthermore, using phrases such as “too much” or describing movement as a means to compensate for eating can reinforce beliefs that foods should only be eaten in certain quantities, that overeating is bad, and that exercise is punishment for breaking food rules.
3. Model healthy eating. I don’t mean healthy as in low-carb, fat-free, or plant-based. I mean demonstrating healthy eating habits by tasting and enjoying a variety of dishes, eating normal-sized bites at a normal pace, and enjoying delicious food. Rather than commenting on how much you are eating or how full you are, comment on how skilled Grandma is at cooking the turkey or how grateful you are to enjoy a meal with family and friends.
4. Remember that your loved one’s eating disorder is not your loved one. The eating disorder brain can make your loved one malnourished, fatigued, confused, agitated, and anxious. Try to be compassionate when you experience your loved one’s eating disorder sitting at the table. Remember that the eating disorder is separate from the mind and body of your loved one. If necessary, pull them aside and gently remind their eating disorder to step aside so that you can support them through the meal.
5. Focus on the true meaning of Thanksgiving: gratitude, reunion, and family. We enjoy a feast on Thanksgiving to celebrate gifts of abundance, growth, and community. Remind everyone that we deserve to enjoy Earth’s harvest, share things for which you are grateful, and express appreciation for friends and family.
If you or a loved one are struggling with an eating disorder during this holiday season, we are here to help! At BALANCE eating disorder treatment center, our compassionate, highly skilled team of clinicians is trained in diagnosing and treating the spectrum of eating disorders, including anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, compulsive overeating, and other disordered eating behaviors and body image issues.
Our admissions team would be happy to answer any questions you may have about our programs and services. Book a free consultation call with our admissions team below or read more about our philosophy here.
This post was written by BALANCE Blog Intern, Sadie Grant.
Sadie is a recent graduate of Oberlin College with a B.A. in psychology. After recovering from disordered eating, Sadie became passionate about eating disorder awareness, body neutrality, and destabilizing beauty standards that are established by social and cultural norms. While earning her Bachelor’s degree, Sadie conducted quantitative research, worked with populations experiencing barriers to essential services, and studied Spanish. Sadie hopes to use her developing research and interpersonal skills to work in the field of eating disorders and address the way in which expectations around eating and beauty vary across different populations.
References
Cohen, N. (2020, July 22). 5 Ways To Help Your Loved One Through Thanksgiving Dinner. Retrieved November 11, 2020, from https://www.waldeneatingdisorders.com/blog/5-ways-to-help-your-loved-one-during-the-thanksgiving-meal/
Seven Tips to Survive Thanksgiving with an Eating Disorder. (2019, October 22). Retrieved November 11, 2020, from https://centerfordiscovery.com/blog/seven-tips-survive-thanksgiving-eating-disorder/
Waitt, S. (2018, February 20). 7 Tips for Getting Through Thanksgiving in Eating Disorder Recovery. Retrieved November 11, 2020, from https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/blog/7-tips-getting-through-thanksgiving-eating-disorder-recovery