4 Tips For Telling Loved Ones About Your Eating Disorder
Being vulnerable about your eating disorder can be terrifying, even with the ones we most love and trust. The shame and stigma surrounding eating disorders make it difficult to breach the topic of your mental health with the people who care about you.
By: Samreen Khan
No matter how eloquent you are, it is intimidating to be vulnerable about an emotionally charged topic such as your mental health, especially if it is your first time bringing it up with someone.
If you are having trouble figuring out how to discuss your eating disorder with your loved ones but feel ready to start the conversation, here are four tips you can use to help you express yourself:
Tip 1: Write Down Everything You Want to Say and Send It Via Letter, Email, or Text
When we get nervous about things like this, we can often leave necessary details out or say things we do not mean due to the pressure of saying something to someone in front of us. Writing down everything you want to say allows you to express your feelings without worrying about stumbling over your words before reaching the end of your thoughts. It can also allow the person receiving the note to read it multiple times to digest it and determine how to respond.
Tip 2: Explain What You Need From Them.
Many loved ones believe they must “fix” your mental health and cure your eating disorder. However, feeling like others constantly try to “fix” you can make you feel like a burden. Share that you don’t expect them to fix your eating disorder but simply need their support as you heal. Comparing your condition to a physical injury or illness is a helpful analogy to help them comprehend what this means. For example, if you came home with a broken arm, they would not try to fix the arm because, chances are, they do not have the tools or credentials to do so! Instead, ask them to try to create an environment of ease as you heal with the help of proper treatment and time.
Tip 3: Ease Your Way Into the Topic by Sending Them Something You May Relate to.
Starting the discussion is sometimes the most challenging part. You don’t always have to use your own words to explain your experiences to your loved ones. You can send them articles, videos, blogs, or social media posts about eating disorders to get the conversation going before you tell them what you need.
Tip 4: Set a Goal for What You Want to Achieve From the Conversation.
Each time you decide to talk to your loved ones about your eating disorder, confirm with yourself what you want out of the conversation. Do you like to share your struggles simply? Do you want to talk about what you need from them? Do you want to talk about seeking treatment? You don’t have to tell them everything in one go. If you think that you would be more comfortable with one long discussion where you address everything you want to say, then go for it! But if you do not, taking things one step at a time is okay with several more minor conversations.
Your eating disorder can feel like a big secret before you talk to others about it. Talking to your loved one doesn’t need to be a confession; it can simply be a discussion that allows them to truly support you as they strive to understand what you are going through. By initiating this communication with them, you are taking a huge first step into whatever your recovery journey may look like, even if you are not ready to call it that yet.
At BALANCE eating disorder treatment center™, we are dedicated to treating the spectrum of eating disorders, including anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, compulsive overeating, and other disordered eating and body image issues. BALANCE is proud to offer a FREE Virtual Support Group twice a month. This group is intended for those contemplating eating disorder treatment or for loved ones seeking support. You can sign up for our next group on Saturday, September 9, 2023, at 11:00 a.m. EST here.
Our admissions team would be happy to answer any questions you may have about our programs and services. Book a free consultation call with our admissions team below, or read more about our philosophy here.
This post was written by BALANCE Blog Contributor, Samreen Khan (she/her/he/him).
Samreen is a high school graduate with an ardent drive to de-stigmatize mental illness and eating disorders. Born and raised in the Bay Area, she experienced the harmful effects of “fitspo” culture firsthand for most of her childhood. Throughout her own recovery journey, she became passionate about deconstructing diet culture and raising awareness about eating disorders in her everyday life. Samreen began extending her own ideology of intuitive eating and body neutrality to others by publishing her own writing online when she was fourteen, and has since received several awards for her prose and poetry. She has conducted research on the biological and evolutionary implications of familial mental illness, and is currently taking college-level Sociology and Psychology courses with hopes to delve further into the social and cultural constructs that bolster disordered eating, especially within marginalized communities. She’s grateful for the opportunity to combine two of her strongest passions — writing and mental health — by working with BALANCE!