5 Tips for Supporting Your Child in Eating Disorder Recovery
Eating disorder recovery is challenging for everyone involved, including parents of those with eating disorders. While working through recovery is more rewarding than staying stuck in an eating disorder, it is important to remember that recovery is not a linear process. This can make supporting your child in recovery feel demanding and exhausting.
By: Samreen Khan
You may feel unsure how you can best support your child in their recovery. There is no set rulebook for parents of children with eating disorders, as each individual’s experience is unique. Watching your child recover from their eating disorder can be heartwarming. It can also be heartbreaking, seeing as recovery can be one of the most rigorous journeys of your child’s life. A parent’s natural inclination is to protect and guide their children through difficult times, but you may feel lost on how to support your child through a journey you may have never taken yourself.
Here are five tips to help support your child in eating disorder recovery:
Don’t Play the Blame Game
It is tempting to try and find a single, concrete reason for your child’s eating disorder. Trying to find the root cause for your child’s eating disorder can spark feelings of guilt about where you may have gone wrong with your parenting. Eating disorders are complex illnesses, and they can rarely be attributed to one triggering factor. It is not helpful to try to find a scapegoat for your child’s eating disorder. Instead of worrying about what you could have done differently in the past, shift your attention to how you can best support your child in the present and the future.
Encourage Open Communication With Your Child
Eating disorders can be secretive illnesses. The stigma surrounding eating disorders can cause sufferers to feel ashamed of their thoughts and behaviors. To support your child in the most productive way, you need to understand the complexities of their eating disorder. Even if it is difficult, initiate the conversation by opening up about your thoughts and feelings and reassuring them that they can talk to you similarly without fearing judgment. This is a beneficial step in learning about your child’s experience so you can help better support them.
Educate Yourself About Eating Disorders
Learning about common eating disorder experiences can make it easier to talk to your child about their personal experiences without forcing them to explain painful details. Reading blogs like this one is a great place to start. You can also talk to your child’s medical professionals about the best ways to offer your help. Learn what to say, what not to say, and how to show them that although you may not ever fully understand what they are going through, you are willing to try as best as you can.
Monitor Their Behaviors, but Do Not Overwhelm Them
Eating disorders are sneaky, and disordered habits can tiptoe back into your child’s life unbeknownst to you. Keeping a careful watch on their behavior is necessary, as it will help them move forward in their recovery. However, be cautious of crossing the line between concern and distrust. If your child feels as though your surveillance stems from suspicion, they may have a harder time opening up. One way to subtly observe your child’s progress is by eating or exercising together. Eating with a trusted adult can help them feel more comfortable with their meal. Practicing healthy movement can also help set an example for your child of how to move their body to feel good.
Know That There Is No Quick Fix
When your child suffers from a physical ailment, you offer them cough medicine or a cast until they are well again. Eating disorders are not as simple as getting treated and being “cured.” Just as each eating disorder is unique to each individual, the recovery process differs from person to person. It may take time, and there may be days, weeks, or months when you feel frustrated with the situation. Recovery is not a linear journey, and your patience can be an excellent support to your child.
Bonus Tip: Look Out For Your Other Children, too
Unfortunately, eating disorders often run in the family, with 70% of eating disorders inherited by a family member. Employing the knowledge you gain by supporting your child through recovery can help you guide your other children. By practicing healthy eating and movement habits with your child in recovery, you can impart mindful beliefs, reducing their risk of suffering.
Your child’s eating disorder is an all-consuming illness that affects most parts of their life, including relationships – and that applies to their relationship with you. Though the eating disorder may have heightened tensions between the two of you, supporting them through their recovery will help heal their relationship with food and you.
At BALANCE eating disorder treatment center™, we are dedicated to treating the spectrum of eating disorders, including anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, compulsive overeating, and other disordered eating and body image issues. BALANCE is proud to offer a FREE Virtual Support Group twice a month. This group is intended for those contemplating eating disorder treatment or for loved ones seeking support. You can sign up for our next group here.
Our admissions team would be happy to answer any questions you may have about our programs and services. Book a free consultation call with our admissions team below, or read more about our philosophy here.
This post was written by BALANCE Blog Contributor, Samreen Khan (she/her/he/him).
Samreen is a high school graduate with an ardent drive to de-stigmatize mental illness and eating disorders. Born and raised in the Bay Area, she experienced the harmful effects of “fitspo” culture firsthand for most of her childhood. Throughout her own recovery journey, she became passionate about deconstructing diet culture and raising awareness about eating disorders in her everyday life. Samreen began extending her own ideology of intuitive eating and body neutrality to others by publishing her own writing online when she was fourteen, and has since received several awards for her prose and poetry. She has conducted research on the biological and evolutionary implications of familial mental illness, and is currently taking college-level Sociology and Psychology courses with hopes to delve further into the social and cultural constructs that bolster disordered eating, especially within marginalized communities. She’s grateful for the opportunity to combine two of her strongest passions — writing and mental health — by working with BALANCE!