5 Tips for When A Roommate is in Eating Disorder Recovery
Relationships with roommates can be complex and different for every individual. You could be each other’s closest confidante, hold each other at an awkward arm’s length, or begrudgingly put up with each other until your lease ends. Regardless of where you stand, when your roommate is in eating disorder recovery, this relationship can become even more complex. There are, however, things you can do to support yourself and your roommate and strengthen the relationship.
By: Samreen Khan
Here are five tips for when a roommate is in eating disorder recovery:
Establish Boundaries
Roommate relationships often exist in a state of limbo. Luck allows some people to live with close friends. But for many, roommates are found out of necessity, and these relationships are built based on proximity. As a result, near-strangers can get a glimpse into extremely private parts of one’s life. So, establishing healthy boundaries is essential to any co-living relationship with hopes of lasting. It is vital to be aware of what overstepping looks like, especially when your roommate struggles with an eating disorder.
Establish Boundaries Around Food
This is usually a vital boundary to set in any cohabited space. Someone in recovery may have a precarious relationship with food and specific needs and structures around food. It’s important to communicate what each roommate needs food boundaries to look like. Recovery is about learning to adapt and have flexibility with food, but those skills are built gradually, not ones that should be forced onto them by a roommate.
Understand Eating Disorders Have a Significant Impact on Mood
Have you ever wondered why the word “hangry” is such a perfect term? The general population experiences elevated levels of irritability when hungry. It has been scientifically proven that food and feelings are interlinked in countless scenarios. Because of this, disordered eating has a notable effect on an individual’s temperament. In recovery, negative emotions can be heightened due to the conflicting desires within the mind. Remember to understand that your roommate’s words or actions may not always reflect their true feelings. Acknowledging the reason behind their behavior can allow you to see their struggles more empathetically.
Be Observant Without Being Accusatory
Many people with eating disorders make a significant effort to hide their habits from others. In recovery, it can feel shameful to let their loved ones know when they are having a hard time. Unfortunately, it is common for concerned people to jump to conclusions and assumptions. This can feel accusatory and demeaning, especially considering how much effort someone puts into recovery. For this reason, your roommate may not let their friends or family know when they are struggling. However, these things may be more noticeable when you cohabitate in a space with someone. Knowing someone has an eating disorder can make you paranoid about their eating habits. If you notice a slip-up becoming a pattern, it may be time to show concern. But otherwise, trust that your roommate knows how to navigate their disorder and maintain recovery. Open and honest communication can allow you to understand each other better and become closer. A little clarification can go a long way.
Be Cautious of Comparison
Comparison is a slippery slope for individuals with food and body image distress. Eating disorders thrive off of comparison. Pointing out differences in your eating or exercise habits, body, or appearance can encourage disordered thoughts and behaviors, so avoid commenting on these topics.
As a roommate, you must remember that your roommate’s recovery is not your responsibility. Their eating behaviors may be complex and strange to you, but try to approach the relationship with as little judgment as possible. And, while you should be supportive, you should not sacrifice your mental health for the sake of your roommate. By acknowledging the truths that your roommate faces in their recovery, you can ease your relationship with food and your body – and this allows you to serve as a healthy example for others in your life. Showing empathy and kindness for your roommate and yourself is key to maintaining a good relationship.
At BALANCE eating disorder treatment center™, our compassionate, highly skilled team of clinicians is trained in diagnosing and treating the spectrum of eating disorders, including anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, compulsive overeating, and other disordered eating behaviors and body image issues. In addition to our full-time Day Treatment Program and Weeknight Intensive Outpatient Program, we offer high-quality programming, nutrition counseling with a licensed dietitian, meal support, and various other groups and resources to help those seeking help for food concerns.
Additionally, BALANCE offers free virtual support groups open to individuals seeking help and family and loved ones. The group provides a supportive forum within which members can explore issues, including ambivalence about engaging in treatment, recovery, resources, and treatment options, and knowing when and how to take the next steps toward making change. RSVP for our next groups on Saturday, February 5th, at 11:00 am EST, or on Friday, February 17th, at 12:00 pm EST here.
Our admissions team would be happy to answer any questions you may have about our programs and services. Book a free consultation call with our admissions team below, or read more about our philosophy here.
This post was written by BALANCE Blog Contributor, Samreen Khan (she/her/he/him).
Samreen is a high school graduate with an ardent drive to de-stigmatize mental illness and eating disorders. Born and raised in the Bay Area, she experienced the harmful effects of “fitspo” culture firsthand for most of her childhood. Throughout her own recovery journey, she became passionate about deconstructing diet culture and raising awareness about eating disorders in her everyday life. Samreen began extending her own ideology of intuitive eating and body neutrality to others by publishing her own writing online when she was fourteen, and has since received several awards for her prose and poetry. She has conducted research on the biological and evolutionary implications of familial mental illness, and is currently taking college-level Sociology and Psychology courses with hopes to delve further into the social and cultural constructs that bolster disordered eating, especially within marginalized communities. She’s grateful for the opportunity to combine two of her strongest passions — writing and mental health — by working with BALANCE!