Moving Past Quasi-Recovery
As you begin to recover physically from an eating disorder but still struggle with disordered thoughts, you may end up in what is called quasi-recovery – a stage in which you are in limbo between the eating disorder and recovery. Although being in quasi-recovery can feel disheartening, recognizing its existence can help you move on to authentic recovery.
By: Samreen Khan
What Is Quasi-Recovery?
After a certain point in eating disorder treatment, you may find yourself at a stage where your progress is plateauing. This quasi-recovery stage may feel discouraging. Very few individuals fully recover without reaching this stage first. In quasi-recovery, you may feel physically “recovered” and no longer engage in explicitly disordered behaviors. However, you still harbor rules and restrictions around food and exercise that infringe on your quality of life. Having an eating disorder warps your perception of what a healthy relationship between food and your body is meant to look like. As a result, you may believe that you have reached a point when you are still mentally trapped in your eating disorder despite being physically healthier.
What Does Quasi-Recovery Look Like?
Like most aspects of eating disorders, it differs from person to person, but here are some common signs of being stuck in quasi-recovery:
Your weight is relatively stable, but you still harbor fears of weight gain and physical changes that hold you back from reaching your body’s set point.
Your bodily systems have improved, including digestion, circulation, energy, and sleep, but they have not returned to normal.
You no longer engage in several disordered behaviors, yet, you still struggle with subtle behaviors that make you feel “safe” around food.
Straying from a daily eating schedule or exercise routine makes you anxious.
You now eat some fear foods you did not allow yourself before, but you still continue to avoid certain foods.
You feel like you no longer need or deserve help because you are not doing as badly as before.
Others around you believe that you are recovered, even though you know you still have eating-disordered thoughts.
How Long Does Quasi-Recovery Last?
Quasi-recovery can last anywhere from months to years. But it does not mean that it is impossible to recover fully. Realizing you are in quasi-recovery is the first step to breaking free from this plateau and moving forward. Recovery will be uncomfortable; growth cannot happen in the middle of a comfort zone. You cannot hang onto disordered habits and fully recover simultaneously. It’s difficult to admit that there is still further to go in recovery. Still, by continuing to challenge your eating disorder – especially when it feels impossible to – the road to a full recovery will become shorter each day.
You may notice that eating disorder triggers and urges seem to come up more frequently, especially as we head into 2024. With BALANCE’s 12-Day Winter Break Eating Disorder Treatment Program, you could get started on reducing your eating disorder thoughts and begin feeling in alignment with your authentic self in the new year. Don’t wait, spots are filling and doors are about to close for good on this program. Learn more about our limited-time Winter Break 12-Day Intensive here.
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This post was written by BALANCE Blog Contributor, Samreen Khan (she/her/he/him).
Samreen is a high school graduate with an ardent drive to de-stigmatize mental illness and eating disorders. Born and raised in the Bay Area, she experienced the harmful effects of “fitspo” culture firsthand for most of her childhood. Throughout her own recovery journey, she became passionate about deconstructing diet culture and raising awareness about eating disorders in her everyday life. Samreen began extending her own ideology of intuitive eating and body neutrality to others by publishing her own writing online when she was fourteen, and has since received several awards for her prose and poetry. She has conducted research on the biological and evolutionary implications of familial mental illness, and is currently taking college-level Sociology and Psychology courses with hopes to delve further into the social and cultural constructs that bolster disordered eating, especially within marginalized communities. She’s grateful for the opportunity to combine two of her strongest passions — writing and mental health — by working with BALANCE!