Tips For Supporting Your Partner In ED Recovery
In February, Valentine's Day is an opportunity to celebrate love. Healthy relationships, both romantic and platonic, consist of supporting another person through the good and bad times and being supported by them. However, when the person you are in a relationship with is struggling with or recovering from an eating disorder, you may wonder how to help support them throughout the healing process.
By: Regina Colie
As your loved one navigates their recovery process, it is vital to have the support to ensure they're not alone. In both romantic and platonic relationships support and acceptance are essential to recovery. However, the impact of an eating disorder can significantly affect the dynamic of a relationship. Communication can be made difficult when thoughts about food and their body completely consume one person in the relationship.
If you are in a relationship with someone navigating the trials and tribulations of an eating disorder recovery and aren’t sure what you can do, here are some tips to help.
Educate Yourself About Eating Disorders
The first thing you can do is educate yourself about eating disorders. Having a better understanding of what your loved one is going through will help you to be present and supportive throughout their recovery journey. “You can find a wealth of information for free online - plus, you can seek out podcasts and books that can provide you with invaluable information about eating disorders." By understanding the basics, you and your loved one can navigate how to best handle recovery together with ease and patience.
Avoid Commentary About Their Appearance
Refrain from any comments relating to food or bodies. Any commentary, even if it comes from a good place, could trigger your loved one as they make their way through recovery. "Even commenting and telling your partner that they look good or healthy can negatively affect their mental health or recovery since it can trigger obsessive thoughts about appearance or weight." Avoid using similar language around food so that you can help your partner on their path. Instead, practice empathetic listening. When you do feel the need to compliment them or comment on their journey, you can say things like, “I’m so proud of you,” “You are so strong,” or “I see all the work you are putting into this.”
Refrain From Judging Your Partner If They Relapse
As The Supremes once said in their song You Can’t Hurry Love, "It's a game of give and take." Your loved one will have ups and downs as they navigate recovery, so it is essential to be supportive of them, even if there are moments where they slip up during their process. If your love one “engages in a disordered eating behavior, such as skipping a meal or purging, avoid blaming them.” Your partner may feel ashamed or embarrassed by their behaviors, so continue to show up for them without judgment. That alone can make a world of difference.
Ask Your Partner What They Need From You
As your loved one continues through their recovery plan, ask them what they need from you. Ask them how you can be supportive; the things that work for them; the conversations they do and do not want to have; and more. "While asking them too frequently can be overwhelming, checking in now and again can be helpful because their answers may change based on their recovery or how they're feeling." Continue to provide your partner with a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings, and show them that you're willing to create a safe and supportive space for their healing.
Having nonjudgemental, trustworthy, and compassionate support inside and outside of treatment is essential to eating disorder recovery. Although it can be overwhelming, supporting a loved one in recovery means showing up for them and taking care of yourself. Don’t hesitate to get support as you navigate this with your loved one.
At BALANCE eating disorder treatment center™, our compassionate, highly skilled team of clinicians is trained in diagnosing and treating the spectrum of eating disorders, including anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, compulsive overeating, and other disordered eating and body image issues.
BALANCE offers a bi-monthly free virtual support group open to individuals seeking help and to family and loved ones. The group provides a supportive forum within which members can explore issues, including ambivalence about engaging in treatment, recovery, resources, and treatment options, and knowing when and how to take the next steps toward making change. RSVP for our next group here.
Our admissions team would be happy to answer any questions you may have about our programs and services. Book a free consultation call with our admissions team below, or read more about our philosophy here.
This post was written by BALANCE Blog Contributor, Regina Colie (she/her).
Regina Colie is currently pursuing her Masters in General Psychology at The New School For Social Research. She is interested in working with women who have eating disorders and postpartum depression. Upon her graduation from Marymount Manhattan College, she had the opportunity to be published in Dr. Nava Silton’s book, The Impact of the COVID-19 Pandemic on Child, Adolescent, and Adult Development. Her previous work has been featured in Project HEAL, BALANCE, Olive Branch Nutrition, and Nourishing NY.
References
Tschida, M. K. (2022, February 14). Supporting a Partner with an Eating Disorder. Veritas Collaborative. https://veritascollaborative.com/blog/supporting-a-partner-with-an-eating-disorder/
9 Tips for Supporting Your Spouse With an Eating Disorder. (n.d.). https://withinhealth.com/learn/articles/9-tips-for-supporting-your-spouse-with-an-eating-disorder