Perfectionism at School in Eating Disorder Recovery
People with eating disorders often struggle with perfectionism. The desire to control things can manifest in disordered eating and movement habits. However, the urge to maintain perfection does not stop there. It usually presents itself in other life aspects, such as school.
By: Samreen Khan
In recovery, people must learn to give up their control over food and their body, but the urge to maintain control does not dissipate so easily. Instead, obsessive tendencies may manifest in other areas that are meaningful to the individual. This is why many students with eating disorders possess intense academic commitment and are incredibly high achievers.
An Interesting Double-Standard
Many students praised for academic excellence are questioned when family or friends learn about their eating disorders. They may hear comments like, “You’re smarter than this!” or “You know better!” These remarks are often made with no malicious intent but can be harmful nonetheless. It is crucial to show that the same perfectionism that may cause academic achievement can also be found in adherence to an eating disorder.
These judgments voice the very thoughts individuals with eating disorders already deal with daily. For perfectionists, an eating disorder can give them the control they desire, but being stuck in this illness can also change their self-perception. It can feel devastating to watch their performance in school – academically, socially, and athletically – suffer from their eating disorder. No matter how “put together” anyone may seem, an eating disorder has detrimental effects on how they function in everyday life.
Recovery Can Help
Committing to recovery from your eating disorder can improve your performance academically, socially, and athletically. However, many students in recovery begin to strive for perfection in their grades, extracurriculars, and relationships to fill the void left by disordered behaviors. But it is not realistic to pursue perfection; seeking perfection can often lead to burnout and disappointment in any arena.
Some people notice that as they begin recovering from an eating disorder, the need for every other aspect of their life to be perfect grows more fervent. At any stage in recovery, it is essential to remember that numbers can never define your worth as a human being. This includes aspects of your life outside your eating disorder, like test grades, game scores, or party invites.
Recovery is full of lessons you learn can apply to almost every part of your life. Healing from disordered eating is about believing in your value as a person beyond calculations and ratios and the many other factors we use to measure ourselves. Perfection is a myth that your mind fixates on to erode your self-worth. Instead of chasing it for the rest of your life, learn to take moments to slow down and stay grounded in your recovery.
The transition from summer to fall brings a lot of pressure, so for a limited time, BALANCE is offering a 12-day Back To School Intensive so that you can head back to school or work with the peace of mind and support you deserve. This program will allow you to access the skills you need to begin healing before stepping into a new fall routine. Get flexible, individualized care to help you feel confident navigating your day-to-day life. Jumpstart your recovery and click here to learn more about our 12-Day Back to School Intensive.
You can also join BALANCE Intuitive Eating/HAES Content Creator Korie Born (she/her) on Friday, August 25th at 12 PM EDT for our free webinar, Back to School and Eating Disorders: Tips for Individuals, Loved Ones, and School Staff created with your needs in mind. Click here to RSVP and be part of our effort to create a supportive school environment for everyone.
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This post was written by BALANCE Blog Contributor, Samreen Khan (she/her/he/him).
Samreen is a high school graduate with an ardent drive to de-stigmatize mental illness and eating disorders. Born and raised in the Bay Area, she experienced the harmful effects of “fitspo” culture firsthand for most of her childhood. Throughout her own recovery journey, she became passionate about deconstructing diet culture and raising awareness about eating disorders in her everyday life. Samreen began extending her own ideology of intuitive eating and body neutrality to others by publishing her own writing online when she was fourteen, and has since received several awards for her prose and poetry. She has conducted research on the biological and evolutionary implications of familial mental illness, and is currently taking college-level Sociology and Psychology courses with hopes to delve further into the social and cultural constructs that bolster disordered eating, especially within marginalized communities. She’s grateful for the opportunity to combine two of her strongest passions — writing and mental health — by working with BALANCE!