You’ve seen the posts and the articles that claim the key to success is to “love yourself” and “love your body.” Those well-meaning creators boil healing down to the positive (and often toxic) message of “falling in love with yourself.” Of course, that is not bad, but for many people, getting to a place of “self-love” is difficult. So what can you do?

By: Alexandra Carter

With the holidays right around the corner, there can be a lot of anxiety grappling with food and body distress. Instead of upholding the standard idea of body positivity this holiday season, you might want to explore body neutrality this year.

What Is Body Neutrality?

Body neutrality is the acceptance of your current body. This idea suggests valuing who you are as a person, your body’s unique abilities, and what you bring to the table over your appearance. In her article for Healthline, Crystal Raypole says, “This movement aims to decentralize the body as an object by challenging the myth that the way you look drives your worth.”

This means that instead of feeling pressure to love your body, you focus on what you do with your body, how you think, and how you feel. Of course, there is nothing wrong with loving your body; however, it is often helpful to recognize there is no obligation, moral or otherwise, to do so.

If you struggle with loving your body for real or perceived flaws and differences, the concept of body neutrality can be incredibly freeing. Whether or not you love your body, you can choose to show it respect and compassion. Thus, offering a more neutral way to connect with and care for yourself and your body.

Unlike body positivity, body neutrality removes the focus on your body's appearance. Instead, it centers your experience in your body, with your body.

What is a Body Neutral holiday?

Body neutrality is vital around the holidays. Festive gatherings and family get-togethers can turn toxic when the conversation turns to diet talk and body bashing. Nothing is more triggering than that relative who comments on your body or hearing your friend oversharing about their next diet.

Unfortunately, you can’t control or change other people, but you can support yourself to make the most of the holidays. A body-neutral holiday means staying focused on your comfort and safety, even in difficult situations. It means honoring your needs and prioritizing compassionate care for yourself.

Below are five ways to make your holiday a body neutral one.

Eat Neutrally

Food is emotional. Humans use food to connect, socialize, care for each other, and more. But for anyone struggling, food can also be a source of distress and anxiety. This is where intuitive eating, a self-care eating framework, and the All Foods Fit Model, the nutritional philosophy BALANCE uses with clients, come in. Instead of focusing on “right or wrong” and “good or bad,” tune into your body. Honor your needs and preferences, and let yourself enjoy the nostalgic foods and traditions this season brings.

Eating this way doesn’t happen overnight. It is a learning process that takes practice and patience. Often, learning to eat neutrally is best facilitated by a qualified professional. By allowing your body to guide your eating experience, you can achieve a more balanced, pleasurable connection with food.

Neutralize Self-Talk

Frequently, your harshest critic lives within your head. That inner judge isn’t something you can turn off. But instead of feeling at the mercy of your negative thoughts, you can work toward neutral or compassionate self-talk. This is crucial, especially around the holidays. To best support yourself in the face of others, you must first support yourself within your head.

You can neutralize your self-talk by:

Acknowledging what you appreciate about yourself. It’s about time you gave yourself and your body some credit, even for the small stuff! Do your eyes blink without being asked? Thanks, body! Are you a good listener with your friends? That’s worth acknowledging! Finding gratitude for yourself is powerful, even if it feels silly sometimes.

Acknowledging what you don’t appreciate about yourself. It’s okay not to love and appreciate every part of yourself. Just try to use neutral language. Offer compassion and understanding by acknowledging things like, “I wish I could run faster,” or “I am uncomfortable with my body.” By being honest with yourself in a non-judgmental way, you are dismantling some of the shame that may haunt you.
Choosing to do kind things for yourself. When your mind feels unkind, choosing to care for yourself can make all the difference. Ask yourself, “what can I do to support myself in this tough moment?”

Neutralize Conversations with Other People

As difficult as it can feel setting boundaries with others, knowing and communicating your comfort levels can help make the holidays (or any other day) feel safer. So, avoid any discussion about bodies to keep conversations more body neutral. Do your best to steer clear of body talk altogether, including praise and criticism. In her article, How to Practice Body Neutrality, Ariane Resnick shares that you are “always feel free to shift conversations or walk away when and if you need to.

Wear Comfortable Clothing

One of the easiest ways to show your body respect is to wear clothes that fit. This means prioritizing wearing comfortable clothes that make you feel like you. Try to think more about what makes you feel good than what is “in style” or what others might like. Besides, important people in your life value who you are, not what you wear.

Get Support

You deserve support and guidance, whether it’s with body neutrality or something else. One of the most powerful tools is asking for help. You are worthy of support and compassion, especially when things feel hard.

Your Body Neutral Holiday

Looking at the holidays from a body-neutral perspective allows you to prioritize your experience instead of your appearance. It will help you find comfort and safety in a sometimes tricky season. Above all, body neutrality is about choosing to respect yourself and your body, even when you don’t love it.

At BALANCE eating disorder treatment center™, our compassionate, highly skilled team of clinicians is trained in diagnosing and treating the spectrum of eating disorders, including anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, compulsive overeating, and other disordered eating and body image issues.

Join BALANCE Program and Admissions Therapist Staci Jacobson (she/her), for a FREE webinar, Expectation vs. Reality: Navigating Festive Food Frustration, on Friday, November 18th, at 12:00 pm EST, to reimagine the holidays in a realistic, recovery-aligned way. In this webinar, you will learn about what’s holding you back from sharing in the joy of the season, understand your experience with social eating and body image, identify the differences between expectation and reality, help cultivate a neutral experience around the holidays with food and body image, and more! Click here to register for the webinar.

This post was written by Intuitive Eating | HAES Content Creator, Alexandra Carter (she/her).

Alexandra Carter is a professional actor, turned certified Intuitive Eating Counselor and Health and Wellbeing Coach, turned Content Creator. After moving to NYC for her undergraduate degree in Musical Theater, Alexandra spent 10 years working all over the world as an actor/singer/dancer. Through her own healing journey, Alexandra found her way to the anti-diet space and went on to gain coaching and counseling certifications, in addition to starting her own coaching business. It was there she fell in love with content creation as a way of sharing ideas, genuinely connecting with people, and affecting powerful change. Alexandra is thrilled to be on the team at BALANCE, combining all her skills and passions to foster authentic healing.

References

Ariane Resnick, C. N. C. (2021, May 20). How to practice body neutrality. Verywell Mind. Retrieved October 20, 2022, from https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-practice-body-neutrality-5120914

Reed, R. (2021, July 3). The power of body neutrality and how it can free you from yourself. Camille Styles. Retrieved October 20, 2022, from https://camillestyles.com/wellness/body-neutrality/

Person. (2021, January 20). How to shift from 'body positivity' to 'body neutrality - and why you should. Healthline. Retrieved October 20, 2022, from https://www.healthline.com/health/body-neutrality

Severson, A. (2019, December 18). Body positivity peaked this year. here are the ups and downs. Greatist. Retrieved October 20, 2022, from https://greatist.com/live/best-and-worst-body-positivity-moments-2019

Staying body positive during the holidays. Women's Center. (n.d.). Retrieved October 20, 2022, from https://womenscenter.virginia.edu/2020/11/staying-body-positive-during-holidays

Five Ways To Create A Body-Neutral Holiday